


Meeting the Children

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [102]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dinner, F/M, Multi, Polyamory, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 14:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12460032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: jmadzzz: you're pacingmacaroni fUCK: I'm Dyinglittle lion: mood





	Meeting the Children

**johnn** : alex looks like he's about to cry he's so nervous and I just wanna  
  
**johnn** : not fight james and thomas bc this isn't their fault  
  
**johnn** : but like fight the Emotions that makes him feel like this  
  
**laf** : !! where is he now  
  
**johnn** : we're in our room and he's staring @ himself in the mirror but he's not really There  
  
**johnn** : like he's in his own head and I'm !! worried  
  
**laf** : we're coming up rn to help!!  
  
**johnn** : !! bless  
  
\---  
  
**frances** : aRE WE JUST SUPPOSED TO WING THIS CHICKEN??  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : haha wing  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : get it  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : cause it's  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : cause it's a chicken  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : and a chickens have wings  
  
**anastasie** : pUNS  
  
**frances** : I'm gonna take my arm out of this bird and then I'm going to kick both of your asses  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : NICE TRY  
  
**anastasie** : YOU MAY BE THE TALLEST BUT I HAVE THE MEAT MALLET  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : AND I HAVE PROMISED HER SOLIDARITY AND PROTECTION IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SECOND AND NOT AS STURDY MEAT MALLET  
  
**frances** : gET THOSE AWAY FROM ME  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : ODNT DREOP THE CHICKEN WE HAVE TO E AT THAT  
  
**anastasie** : STOP SIWGNGINH IT A RO INDND LIKE THATAUISTYTS  
  
**frances** : COME HERE  
  
**frances** : I JSUT WANNA TALK  
  
**anastasie** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : he ll o  
  
**johnn** : hi doll  
  
**little lion** : mmbngmgnm you know my heart Melts when you call me doll  
  
**little lion** : this is sabotage  
  
**johnn** : nope I just love you a lot  
  
**little lion** : I love you too  
  
**little lion** : and !! sorry I should probably!! kick this habit but who knows I'm almost middle aged I might as well stick with it till I Die  
  
**laf** : dearest  
  
**little lion** : !! I want hercules to be Physically Closer to me right now before anything else  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I am Here to support you both physically and emotionally  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you look v cute in my shirt also  
  
**little lion** : ngnmgmgbn I thought it was mine but then when I took it off the hanger I realized Definitely Not because the shoulders stop at the middle of my arms  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I love you  
  
**little lion** : I love you too  
  
**little lion** : I'm sorry that you !! had to abandon our children w/ the time sensitive meat just bc I'm Nervous  
  
**laf** : nO !! we love you and the babs are Fine  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : everything is okay down there right  
  
**johnn** : riGHT  
  
**anastasie** : YEAH WE'RE FINE  
  
**johnn** : YOUR CAPS LOCK TELLS A DIFFERENT STORY  
  
**anastasie** : KSDJKSDHJ WE'RE A GOOD 55% FINE  
  
**johnn** : I HAVE TO TAKE THAT  
  
**johnn** : IF YOUR PARENTS ASK YOU SAID 95%  
  
**anastasie** : GOT IT  
  
**anastasie** : ALSO WE MAY HAVE BROKEN A MEAT MALLET  
  
**johnn** : ?????  
  
**johnn** : ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!??????!??!  
  
**anastasie** : DONT OWRRY ABOTU IT  
  
**johnn** : OH MY GOD  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : still!! it's just a dinner!! with james and thomas and their children!! and it's Understandable to be Nervous but like!! combine that nervousness with who I Am as a person  
  
**laf** : our small ball of anxiety and love  
  
**little lion** : and you have a disaster  
  
**johnn** : nO!! never a disaster  
  
**little lion** : never?? you've seen me try to use craft glue  
  
**more like HUNKules** : that's just bc you have wrist issues and can't Squeeze  
  
**little lion** : ya I think I have carpal tunnel haha  
  
**johnn** : a l e x a n d e r  
  
**little lion** : anyway !! dinner issues first  
  
**little lion** : wristues later  
  
**little lion** : #puns  
  
**laf** : unbelievable  
  
**more like HUNKules** : but ye!! back to the Dinner Conversation  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we're all here and listening and loving you  
  
**little lion** : I just !! I don't want their kids to hate me!! you literally Remember how scared I got every single time before I met frances, pip, and ana bc I thought they were gonna hate me  
  
**little lion** : now it's like !!!! it's the same thing!!!!  
  
**johnn** : love!! every single child who has ever met you!! has loved you!!  
  
**little lion** : NOT TRUE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ??? when william met me for the first time, he literally would Actively lean Away from me and cry if I got within ten feet of him  
  
**johnn** : which william  
  
**more like HUNKules** : hugh and elizabeth  
  
**johnn** : right okay  
  
**more like HUNKules** : the First Day he met you, his chubby lil hands were Out and At You and you're still his favorite adult in almost the whole world besides hugh and elizabeth  
  
**laf** : and it's like that for literally Everyone you meet !! you're universally loved just accept it!!  
  
**little lion** : okay so most kids like me but !! the kids that like me are family!! a family that is just as odd as I am and We Are so it's like !! I blend  
  
**little lion** : and lucy and jane haven't met me before except once last month at our 20th and !! that barely counts !! I can't help but being so afraid of them hating me because!! what if they do!! what if they hate me !! it would break my heart and I'd die  
  
**more like HUNKules** : !! alex  
  
**johnn** : our little love I'm going to hug you until I Die  
  
**laf** : !!!  
  
**laf** : as much as I would Love to do that, you have an hour before you have to leave and you need to Get Ready  
  
**laf** : WHat is the color scheme  
  
**little lion** : navy blue and green  
  
**laf** : that's Too Good  
  
**laf** : I'll be back  
  
**little lion** : I can!! do it myself  
  
**johnn** : nope  
  
**more like HUNKules** : trapped  
  
**little lion** : you're both so soft I'm forgetting to be upset  
  
**johnn** : that is the Eternal Plan  
  
**little lion** : thank you I love you all sm  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we love you too!!  
  
**laf** : love you!!  
  
**johnn** : !!  
  
**little lion** : !!  
  
\---  
  
**jane junior** : DO WE  
  
**jane junior** : WHAT DO WE TALK ABOUT AT THIS DINNER  
  
**lucy junior** : !!!!  
  
**jmadzzz** : uHH it'll probs be an hour of us bragging abt you tbh bc we're Proud  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : honestly  
  
**lucy junior** : NO  
  
**jane junior** : can I Opt Out of the dinner  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : No  
  
**jane junior** : Fine  
  
**jmadzzz** : idk he'll probs ask about school and,,,,,interests  
  
**jane junior** : MGNNHN,HN DO I HAVE THOSE  
  
**jmadzzz** : you  
  
**jmadzzz** : do you have school??  
  
**jmadzzz** : well I mean you go to one but idk if you  necessarily Have one  
  
**jane junior** : JSAHKLSAHDLASHD  
  
**jane junior** : IM SUING  
  
**jmadzzz** : !! joking aside !! of course you have interests  
  
**jane junior** : besides wrestling what else is there  
  
**jmadzzz** : everything!! you play the violin and Enjoy Math  
  
**jane junior** : enjoying math isn't an Interests it's just a Thing  
  
**lucy junior** : the phrase you're looking for is "Boring and Depressing"  
  
**jane junior** : low blow from someone who talks abt phalanxes like it is Her Job  
  
**lucy junior** : RU DE  
  
**lucy junior** : WHEN I RUN A MUSEUM AND O WN THE CORPSES OF ALL YOUR HISTORICAL FAVES THEN YOULL KNOW  
  
**jane junior** : KNOW WHAT  
  
**lucy junior** : YOULL SEE  
  
**jane junior** : S E E W H A T  
  
\---  
  
**jmadzzz** : you're pacing  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'm Dying  
  
**little lion** : mood  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I'm Sure lucy and jane are going to like you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : like it's almost Certain I'm at least 65% sure  
  
**little lion** : that's,,,,a lot actually thank you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and I'm 100% sure that you're going to like them  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : bc they're amazing and so are you but!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : Fear  
  
**little lion** : me too  
  
**little lion** : rn laf is trying to find clothes For Me and john and hercules are holding me as tight as possible without physically Breaking my Spine and not letting my help Find Clothes  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : aw that's cute  
  
**jmadzzz** : thomas has been dressed for Three Hours  
  
**little lion** : wHY  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I GOT NE R VOUS AND I WAS LIKE I CAN START GETTING READY NOW  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : IS MY SHIRT WRINKLED  
  
**jmadzzz** : no love you refuse to sit down to prevent that from happening  
  
**macaorni fUCK** : MBMNGMNGMBG  
  
**little lion** : what are your children Like  
  
**little lion** : like in a general gist  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : UHH  
  
**jmadzzz** : !! jane is the oldest !! they're 15, lucy is 13  
  
**jmadzzz** : lucy's birthday is actually your anniversary #fun fact  
  
**little lion** : are we considering that our anniversary Too or are we considering our first date last week our anniversary  
  
**little lion** : bc I'm fine with either!! but it would be nice to know so I know when to buy gifts  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : day of our date  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : that way you don't have to worry abt who to celebrate them with  
  
**little lion** : okay!! I love you  
  
**jmadzzz** : we love you too!!  
  
**little lion** : !! back to the Children  
  
**jmadzzz** : ye!! jane is like thomas in terms of fashion sense bc they both wear so much velvet that a majority of our money goes to the dry cleaner who we're on a first name basis with  
  
**little lion** omg  
  
**jmadzzz** : lucy is more like,,you,,,in terms of lorge sweaters and Glasses  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and the socks?? she has a lot of weird socks  
  
**little lion** : !! a H  
  
**jmadzzz** : lucy likes drawing and journaling ?? ((I think it's journaling I'm not sure)) and things  
  
**jmadzzz** : die hard abba fan  
  
**jmadzzz** : she really likes ancient history and books About ancient history  
  
**jmadzzz** : she said she wants to be the first 13 year old old woman which I think is the funniest thing  
  
**little lion** : ME  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : lucy is kind of quiet?? but like not on the inside  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : at our House and over text message it is Mostly Yelling  
  
**jmadzzz** : tru  
  
**jmadzzz** : jane is Just Thomas but with an electric violin and thicker hair  
  
**jmadzzz** : she Hates ancient history but listens to lucy talk abt it sometimes  
  
**jmadzzz** : weirdly likes exercising idk I support her in all things absolutely but I don't Understand  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : mbmgm she has better people skills than me  
  
**jmadzzz** : you  
  
**jmadzzz** No  
  
**jmadzzz** : they're both really good kids and I love them  
  
**little lion** : !!  
  
**little lion** : laf has like four full outfits already planned out like wHY  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : I love them tho like !! don't get me wrong but  
  
**little lion** : four full outfits and my Deep inability to choose things or Make Decisions  
  
**jmadzzz** : godspeed darling  
  
**little lion** : I've decided that when I come to your house I'm just going to fight you for being too sweet to me  
  
**little lion** : be your own karma  
  
**jmadzzz** : KMHNGMHN  
  
\---  
  
**frances** : HOW LONG DO YOU PUT CHICKEN IN THE OVEN FOR  
  
**laf** : ?? DID YOU FINISH STUFFING IT  
  
**frances** : OH  
  
**frances** : NO  
  
**frances** : NVM  
  
**laf** : oh dear lord  
  
**frances** : ITS F I N E  
  
\---  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : I have a red mark on my fucking neck  
  
**anastasie** : it's not my fault she got the spatula and started critically hitting  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : mgmmmgmbgm I wanna lay down  
  
**anastasie** : !! can I braid your hair  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : ya  
  
**anastasie** : !!!  
  
**frances** : RUDE  
  
**anastasie** : <2  
  
**anastasie** : you don't get the three bc you almost killed me with my own dinner  
  
**frances** : fair  
  
**frances** : I'm hurt and Don't deserve it but fair  
  
**anastasie** : <1  
  
frances: WOW  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : alex wears earrings all the time  
  
**laf** : I've Known This  
  
**johnn** : we have this conversation at least once a week I'm crying  
  
**laf** : but watching him Pick earrings out is still shocking to me bc he's doing That  
  
**laf** : and I love him dearly  
  
**more like HUNKules** : do you think he knows we're staring at him  
  
**little lion** : I opened my phone because thomas texted me but Yes I do know I can see you in the mirror  
  
**laf** : fuck  
  
**little lion** : y'all're cute  
  
**johnn** : yALLRE  
  
**little lion** : HUS H  
  
**johnn** : I LL O VE IT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and it's now I remember just how southern john is in his Heart  
  
**johnn** : yeah totally  
  
**johnn** : the next time we're in the south I'll be sure to become one with the shotgun shell infested Earth  
  
**more like HUNKules** : the last time we were in the south we were in disney like,,,3 years ago  
  
**laf** : and disney is like a whole other plane of existence so it barely counts  
  
**johnn** : fine  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HALF AN HOUR  
  
**jmadzzz** : did you just break something  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : NO I DROPPED A BAKING TRAY ITS FINE ITS FINE  
  
**little lion** : ARE YOU BAKING FOR HTIS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : YES WE FOUND COOKIE DOUGH IN THE FREEZER AND WE'RE NOT FO OLS  
  
**jmadzzz** : I'm getting ready rn so I'll be able to help more soon  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : BLESS  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : IMS O HUN GR Y  
  
**jmadzzz** : DO NOT TOUCH THE VEGETABLES I AM SO PROUD OF THEM AND IF YOU RUIN THE SET UP I WILL ACTUALLY DIVORCE YOU  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : ONE??  
  
**jmadzzz** : N O  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**little lion** : I love you both A Lot  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : MGMG I LOV EYOU TOO  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : AND IM JUST SAYING NOW IM DEFINITELY GOING TO FIND FIVE MINUTES AT SOME POINT TONIGHT TO KISS YOU  
  
**jmadzzz** : !! same  
  
**little lion** : bless!! I am Putting in Earrings rn and then I'm getting dressed!!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : omg I forgot you wear earrings now  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you're so beautiful I'm so emotional  
  
**jmadzzz** : GE T YOUR HAN DS O F F OF TH EG REE N B E AN S  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : GOTTA GO  
  
**little lion** : I'm so worried  
  
\---  
  
**anastasie** : wait if pops is meeting the madisons' children  
  
**anastasie** : does that mean at one point in the near future we're going to host a dinner where They meet Us  
  
**anastasie** : bc honestly I'm worried  
  
**laf** : oH  
  
**little lion** : fuck  
  
**frances** : :^O dad just said the fuck word  
  
**little lion** : iM  
  
**little lion** : anyway  
  
**frances** : rude  
  
**little lion** : I'll,,talk to them about it  
  
**anastasie** : if we do host a dinner then can we have pasta salad  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : ew no  
  
**anastasie** : yoU DONT HAVE TO EAT IT  
  
**frances** : and neither do you but you still insist  
  
**anastasie** : FIGHT ME  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we'll see  
  
**more like HUNKules** : pasta salad is fun it gets to be different colors  
  
**johnn:** it's cold tho  
  
**more like HUNKules** : but I get to make vinaigrette  
  
**johnn** : rip hercules mulligan  
  
**johnn** : cause of death: john laurens' lips and their insistence  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : gross  
  
**johnn** : fair  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : do you want one of us to drive you?? for moral Support  
  
**little lion** : mmmgmg not if you don't want to  
  
**more like HUNKules** : would you be able to without your hands shaking??  
  
**little lion** : no but I could take a cab  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm !! driving you  
  
**little lion** : thank you sm  
  
**little lion** : I'm gonna hold your hand the whole way there tho  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I wouldn't expect anything less  
  
**little lion** : love you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : love you too  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : IM LEAVING NOW  
  
**little lion** : DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HAIR SO I JUST DIDNT DO IT AND I CAN SEE THE GRAYS COMING IN AND IM GONNA LOSE IT BC MY HAIR APPOINTMENT ISNT FOR ANOTHER WEEK !!!!!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : !! it's going to be fine !!  
  
**little lion** : ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT OR ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : NOT SURE  
  
**little lion** : AAHHH  
  
**jmadzzz** : hello yes  
  
**jmadzzz** : james, the only calm one  
  
**jmadzzz** : it is going to be Fine we made a pie and they're going to love you  
  
**little lion** : oh my god this is too many baked goods  
  
**jmadzzz** : yeah we kind of became a baking family,,,,in the last few years  
  
**little lion** : that's cute af oh my god  
  
**little lion** : !! I'm so excited !! but also so scared  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : don't be!! the cookies being done have calmed us all down and now we're ready and excited and james is taking my pulse bc apparently getting lightheaded when I think about you is ""concerning""  
  
**jmadzzz** : It Is  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : w h a t e v e r  
  
**little lion** : iM  
  
\---  
  
**anastasie** : is this like a thing we need now  
  
**anastasie** : bc of the thing with the things with the parents  
  
**frances** : I'm here but I'm scrubbing my hands so like gimme a min  
  
**lucy junior** : honestly!!!! idk what's happening but yeah this seems like a good idea  
  
**lucy junior** : I need somewhere to put the events of this dinner in a chat that isn't Just jane  
  
**jane junior** : same  
  
**jane junior** : also like is your dad freaking out bc thomas is having heart palpitations  
  
**anastasie** : well pops just left so idk but he seemed p !!!!!!!! before he left so probs  
  
**anastasie** : I'm lowkey freaking out and I'm not even going to be there  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : I don't like this  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : y'all are so little  
  
**jane junior** : I'm ?? two ?? years ??  
  
**lucy junior** : I'm four so I get it  
  
**anastasie** : but I'm only a few older than you so like idk what he's talking about  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : but you're my little sister so it's different  
  
**anastasie** : I hate you  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : you're lying right next to me bc you Just braided my hair  
  
**lucy junior** : aw  
  
**anastasie** : anyway  
  
**anastasie** : This Group Chat  
  
**frances** : my hands are clean  
  
**frances** : Yes this group chat and our simultaneous dads freaking out  
  
**jane junior** : dad just dragged dad away and now they're talking in their Reassuring Whispers and I hate this  
  
**lucy junior** : wait if our dads broke up bc your dad couldn't marry our dads  
  
**lucy junior** : and a major component of why they got back together is bc they Might/Will get married  
  
**lucy junior** : does  
  
**lucy junior** : does that make us technical half siblings??  
  
**frances** : oh my god  
  
**frances** : I mean probably let's be honest our dad is ride or die for the people he loves so like  
  
**anastasie** : y ES i have cool siblings  
  
**anastasie** : finally  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : we geT NEW SIBLINGS AND YOU USE IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DRAG US  
  
**frances** : RUDE!!  
  
**anastasie** : ya love me  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : whTAEVER  
  
**jane junior** : we should do something as technical half siblings  
  
**anastasie** : AM I HEARING A FROZEN YOGURT?? I THINK IM HEARING A FROZEN YOGURT  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : a frozen yogurt  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : just one  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : we get one  
  
**frances** : you're down one technical half sibling now bc pip is dead  
  
**lucy junior** : tragic  
  
**jane junior** : rest in fucking pieces  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : trAITORS  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : have I ever mentioned that I Love Hercules  
  
**little lion** : bc I love hercules A Lot  
  
**johnn** : I'm sure that it came up at some point in the past twenty years  
  
**laf** : maybe  
  
**little lion** : he takes my breath away  
  
**little lion** : I'm married to him  
  
**little lion** : I want to marry him again just bc he's so beautiful and I want to be able to tell him abt How beautiful in front of 35 other people like the first time  
  
**johnn** : are you alright  
  
**little lion** : no he just laughed at something on the radio and he's stunning and I'm already in a Soft Place rn and he's killing me I might cry  
  
**little lion** : I don't want to stop holding hands with him,,,,ever  
  
**laf** : can't wait til he drops you off and checks his text messages and promptly Dies  
  
**little lion** : I just kissed his hand and he gasped what the fUCK!!  
  
**little lion** : do you think they'd notice if I brought hercules to dinner  
  
**johnn** : judging by the fact that he is 6'3" with shoulders broad enough that he can barely fit through some doorways who smiles and attracts the attention of an entire room when he looks at you, maybe  
  
**little lion** : hmm  
  
**little lion** : fine  
  
**little lion** : I'll miss him  
  
**johnn** : you're so cute I love you  
  
**little lion** : I love you too!!  
  
**little lion** : also I know I'm literally going to eat dinner but like save me chicken  
  
**little lion** : bc I know who I am  
  
**johnn** : will do  
  
**little lion** : ty!!  
  
**laf** : jOHN IS SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING WITH DINNER  
  
**johnn** : right!! fuck  
  
**laf** : if I didn't love him so much I'd be upset  
  
**johnn** : love ya  
  
**laf** : love you too  
  
**laf** : now gET THE SEASONINS  
  
**johnn** : GETTING  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : what the fuck  
  
**more like HUNKules** : he can't just say these things to me and then get oUT OF THE CAR  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ,,,,,wait  
  
**laf** : ????????  
  
**laf** : ????!?!??!??  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : anyway  
  
**laf** : ???  
  
**little lion** : hercules grabbed me before I got in the building and literally made out with me against the side of the wall  
  
**little lion** : I love him very dearly  
  
**johnn** : aw that's cute  
  
**laf** : good luck at your dinner!!  
  
**little lion** : !! I'm in the elevator now and I'm so nervous I might die but I've got butterflies bc hercules and my hands aren't shaking that much anymore so !! ty I should be okay hopefully  
  
**johnn** : !! we love you  
  
**little lion** : loVE YOU TOO  
  
**little lion** : IM KNOCKING ON THE DOOR  
  
**little lion** : KSHAKJSHDKJHS  
  
**more like HUNKules** : IM IN TRAFFIC SO I HAVE LIKE ONE MOMENT TO SAY !! GOOD LUCK  
  
**little lion** : !!!!!!!!!  
  
\---  
  
**anastasie** : I just had the strong urge to say yo  
  
**laf** : go for it  
  
**anastasie** : yOO so like if pops gets married how do we  
  
**anastasie** : are we gonna like,,move  
  
**more like HUNKules** : why are you already thinking about this  
  
**johnn** : why are you texting  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm in the elevator on my way up  
  
**johnn** : oh okay  
  
**anastasie** : are you Not thinking it  
  
**frances** : omg that'd be so many bedrooms  
  
**frances** : bc that's five kids alone  
  
**frances** : and then ?? whatever bedroom arrangement y'all would have  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : this stresses me out

 **pip pip doodly doo** : do you think I'd be a groomsperson @ the wedding  
  
**anastasie** : I wanna dj  
  
**johnn** : come eat we can talk abt this after dinner  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : chICKEN  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : hOW are things going  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : did you mean to text me??  
  
**laf** : OH  
  
**laf** : NO  
  
**laf** : I typed in alex's contact name bc I don't talk to him in our private chat A Lot but your name in my phone is ""alex's thomas"" so I guess it pressed the wrong one  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : why is it  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : why wouldn't you just put my last name if you needed to Distinguish  
  
**laf** : I didn't put your contact in my phone  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : o h  
  
**laf** : but !! also you can answer this question so imma stick w it  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : !! it's going okay I think  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : lucy is telling him abt women in ancient greece and he's listening so hard he Isn't Eating  
  
**laf** : he does that  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : me and james are just kinda watching bc it's cute  
  
**laf** : he is always that  
  
**laf** : that's good though I hope !! everything continues to go well!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : thank you!!  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : minor update while they Refuse to let me help clean the table bc apparenty we have fucking courses @this dinner  
  
**little lion** : I would Die for jane and lucy madison  
  
**little lion** : also salad is really good I always forget until I have it again  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I love you  
  
**little lion** : I'm blushing  
  
**little lion** : this is embarrassing which is only making me blush harder I'm too old for this  
  
**johnn** : aw  
  
**little lion** : jane and lucy are back now  
  
**little lion** : they're asking abt y'all  
  
**laf** : oh dear  
  
**little lion** : !! my fave topic  
  
**little lion** : thomas and james have the look in their eyes that y'all get when I'm about to Literally not stop talking for a good ten minutes  
  
**more like HUNKules** : godspeed  
  
**little lion** : hE R EWE GO  
  
\---  
  
**jane junior** : your dad scares me deeply  
  
**frances** : fair but also Why  
  
**jane junior** : we asked ?? how your other parents were  
  
**jane junior** : and he just  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : rookie mistake  
  
**jane junior** : we see that now  
  
**anastasie** : once I went to lunch w him and our aunt angelica and she asked how things were and he went on for twenty minutes about Just Hercules  
  
**lucy junior** : I think it's cute  
  
**jane junior** : you think everything is cute  
  
**lucy junior** : bc,,,,everything,,,,,,is  
  
**lucy junior** : your dad is really nice btw and jane is almost as tall as him  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : god I wish that were me  
  
**anastasie** : you'll get there some day  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : you know I won't  
  
**anastasie** : but it's good to have hope  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : I have nothing but Hope just Not when it comes to growing  
  
**frances** : is the hope entirely in theo and wishing she never decides she wants a taller boyfriend  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : get off my blog  
  
**frances** : it's cute tho  
  
**jane junior** : I forgot that dating is a thing people do  
  
**jane junior** : I say, while our dads' boyfriend is over our house  
  
**jane junior** : I need to lay down  
  
**jane junior** : but at the same time pasta  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : dating is fun when it's with the most beautiful person in the world  
  
**frances** : mood but we're talking abt different people  
  
**lucy junior** : aW who are y'all dating  
  
**lucy junior** : I most definitely don't know them bc I literally don't know anything but still  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : uhH do you know aaron burr??  
  
**lucy junior** : oh ya he came over for dinner once to talk abt business things and it was the most bland experience of my entire life  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : fair but I'm dating his daughter  
  
**jane junior** : t H Eo  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : ye!! I thought you'd know mr. burr First tho so I !!  
  
**jane junior** : understandable  
  
**frances** : how are you two getting away w texting @ this dinner  
  
**jane junior** : uhh they're talking abt the Past years when they were younger so we don't really have any imput and they're 100% enthralled in each other  
  
**lucy junior** : it's still cute but I'm grossed out  
  
**jane junior** : rt  
  
**lucy junior** : anyway!! I know theo she works as a volunteer at the museum I go to a lot  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : !! yas I love her sm  
  
**anastasie** : while y'all were doing this I ate all the peas so whoop whoop  
  
**frances** : fuCK you  
  
**frances** : but also I'm dating Two (2) people  
  
**frances** : you wouldn't?? know either of them I don't think but uHHh francis henderson and james cunnington  
  
**frances** : they cute af  
  
**lucy junior** : wow I know neither of those people  
  
**frances** : that's fine  
  
**frances** : I should bring them to frozen yogurt  
  
**jane junior** : !! when is that happening  
  
**frances** : tomorrow??  
  
**anastasie** : I START MY INTERNSHIP TOMORORW  
  
**anastasie** : OH MY GOD  
  
**anastasie** : AND I HAVE A MATH TEST WHY JESUS  
  
**frances** : lmao I have finals tomorrow  
  
**anastasie** : YOU GRADUATE ON FRIDAY  
  
**frances** : ew no  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : I thought??? it was next friday??  
  
**frances** : nO  
  
**jane junior** : @@ana !! I can help you w math  
  
**anastasie** : TH A NK YOU  
  
**lucy** junior: internship??  
  
**anastasie** : @@ THE WASHINGTONS  
  
**lucy junior** : oh !! jesus good luck  
  
**anastasie** : TY  
  
**frances** : I don't even wanna graduate I just wanna like,,,Have a diploma and a degree  
  
**frances** : and then move into a cute lil apartment with james and francis  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : you're falling into our parents' history  
  
**frances** : ,,,judging by where they're at rn I don't really mind  
  
**anastasie** : aw  
  
**anastasie** : oH we forgot we're Also eating dinner  
  
**anastasie** : we gotta go  
  
**lucy junior** : !! so do we jane is talking so I had More Time but !! bye  
  
**frances** : by E !!  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : THERES DESERT  
  
**little lion** : WE HAVE PIE  
  
**little lion** : IM SO ALIVE RN  
  
**laf** : I thought your dinner would be longer  
  
**little lion** : I've been here an hour and a half  
  
**laf** : still  
  
**laf** : also I think ana and pip are conspiring against us  
  
**more like HUNKules** : frances is just staring down at her plate bc she graduates v soon  
  
**johnn** : hercules says this as if he can currently Look at frances without crying bc she graduates in four days  
  
**little lion** : I just choked thank you so much for reminding me  
  
**little lion** : a question in response: why do you want me dead so badly  
  
**laf** : nO  
  
**more like HUNKules** : nEVER  
  
**johnn** : I WOULD CATCH HANDS AND BULLETS FOR YOU  
  
**little lion** : LOVES  
  
**little lion** : MKDKHSD THIS CONVERSATION ISNT OVER BUT IM BRING LOOKED AT SO I HAVE TO LEAVE  
  
**laf** : !! fair  
  
\---  
  
**anastasie** : ca N we watch ferris buellers day off  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : that movie is 60 years old  
  
**anastasie** : s O AM I  
  
**johnn** : Y E S S S S S S S S S S S S S S  
  
**laf** : it's kinda weird when your child wants to watch a movie older than you are  
  
**more like HUNKules** : right  
  
**johnn** : tru but also cA N WE  
  
**laf** : why am I the decider on this why can't it be Hercules  
  
**laf** : stop loOking at me like that  
  
**frances** : fucking  
  
**frances** : I graduate in four days  
  
**laf** : you need to study for finals  
  
**frances** : FUCK  
  
**frances** : IM GOING TO MY ROOM OR FRANCIS' HOUSE IT DEPENDS  
  
**johnn** : !! good luck  
  
**johnn** : back to bueller  
  
**more like HUNKules** : how to fight your own husband  
  
**more like HUNKules** : but like not on this Plane of existence  
  
**more like HUNKules** : how to fight your husband on a plane of existence where you can't actually hurt him  
  
**more like HUNKules** : google search  
  
**laf** : aw  
  
\---  
  
**frances** : f r AN C I S  
  
**frances** : MY LOVE  
  
**frances** : MY LIGHT  
  
**frances** : TIED FOR FIRST FOR #1 HO  
  
**france eyes** : you do this to me  
  
**frances** : yes and ya love me  
  
**frances** : is james at your house still  
  
**france eyes** : ye but his phone is turned off bc we're studying  
  
**frances** : okay bc he's not answering my text messages  
  
**frances** : the ones where I ask him if he's at your house still  
  
**france eyes** : !! we have a group chat love  
  
**frances** : ya but I keep deleting it bc I need Space on my phone  
  
**france eyes** : fair  
  
**france eyes** : also !! what did you need??  
  
**frances** : cAN we please study together  
  
**frances** : I need james to explain math to me  
  
**france eyes** : !! of course !! you literally have a key to my house  
  
**frances** : still I'm not just gonna show up to your house like Hey  
  
**france eyes** : I mean  
  
**france eyes** : you Can if you wanted  
  
**frances** : !! I love you  
  
**france eyes** : I love you too!!  
  
**france eyes** : james said he Also loves you  
  
**france eyes** : he's also wearing your sweatshirt  
  
**frances** : ngbgmbgmbgnbgmnb I'm coming over  
  
**france eyes** : oh also he asked if you can bring your english stuff bc he doesn't get Anything  
  
**frances** : !! yes  
  
**france eyes** : we've been studying for like three hours so when you get here we're taking a Break, which will mostly be spent by eating and making out  
  
**frances** : I am Rushing over  
  
\---  
  
**anastasie** : I've never seen someone run that fast  
  
**frances** : hUSH  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : oh my god you could literally kill me  
  
**johnn** : like actually literally crush me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : john  
  
**johnn** : oh my god I've Known That like sometimes I'm sitting in the living room thinkin about you bc I'm always thinking abt at least One of you  
  
**johnn** : and it's like wow I'm married to you and you could literally kill me  
  
**johnn** : lafayette at this point could kill god  
  
**laf** : thank you  
  
**johnn** : and like I don't hate it  
  
**johnn** : it's kinda hot  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I want a divorce  
  
**johnn** : fair but shh divorce me after ferris buellers day off  
  
**more like HUNKules** : akhsjshd come cuddle me  
  
**johnn** : coMING  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : but if I got the upper hand I could fight hercules with my thighs I guess  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm  
  
**little lion** : john I love you dearly but hercules' thighs have enough force to stop wars and you are no match for them  
  
**johnn** : well that's why I'd have to have the upper hand before his thighs could get to me  
  
**little lion** : interesting  
  
**little lion** : but if your thighs were around his neck, I imagine that's where you were going with this, your neck would be Near hercules' thighs, so you would have the Upper Hand but he would have the Lower Body to take you #out  
  
**johnn** : hmm  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my GOD  
  
**little lion** : ITS NOT OUR FAULT YOUR THIGHS ARE LIT ERALLY GIFTS FROM HEAVEN  
  
**more like HUNKules** : NSMDGN,GMB  
  
**little lion** : ALSO IM ON MY WAY HOME  
  
**little lion** : I DONT THINK LUCY AND JANE HATE ME AND I LOVE JAMES AND THOMAS A LOT  
  
**­laf** : !! YA Y !! THATS SO GOOD  
  
**laf** : ALSO ONE OF US WOULDVE PICKED YOU UP  
  
**little lion** : !! you were eating !! so no  
  
**laf** : NMBGB  
  
**little lion** : I'll be home in five minutes!! so it's nbd and !! I will give you a recap and continue the earlier convo later bc you're not allowed to talk during ferris bueller keep watching  
  
**more like HUNKules** : !! we'll see you soon  
  
**little lion** : !!  
  
\---  
**little lion** : wHATS THE MF VERDICT  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : they like you!! and they're getting frozen yogurt w your children tomorrow  
  
**little lion** : oh my god my heart rate just went from literally frantic to calm in such little time I thought it stopped  
  
**jmadzzz** : KLDSHKJDH  
  
**little lion** : I'm so hAPPY !!!  
  
**little lion** : also I love you sm  
  
**jmadzzz** : love you too!!  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : !! love you !!  
  
**little lion** : aH!!  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : home home home  
  
**johnn** : I can literally Hear this text message  
  
**more like HUNKules** : same it's the little sing song thing when he gets his keys out to unlock the front door  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,I didn't,,,,think it was loud enough that you could hear it  
  
**little lion** : you never mentioned it before  
  
**laf** : we've been together for Literally decades we know your habits  
  
**johnn** : when you unlock the door there's like a 50% chance one of us is pressed against your back what do you mean you didn't think it was loud enough that we could hear it  
  
**little lion** : I'm suing  
  
**little lion** : and also going to change but I'll be back down!!  
  
**laf** : !! we're down here  
  
\---  
  
**frances** : I'm @ your house just know it's me unlocking the door  
  
**james** : will do!!  
  
**james** : !! we're going to the kitchen now and nobody is home  
  
**frances** : I'm already in the kitchen where is my soda stash that I keep here bc our dear francis and his family are Health People  
  
**france eyes** : !! itS in the pink box bc my mom thinks it's my ""cheat day"" box filled w strawberries and ""light sugar""  
  
**frances** : I love you  
  
**france eyes** : I !! love you too omg are you okay  
  
**frances** : yes!! I just think it's cute you have a cheat day box and that you use it to hide My Shit  
  
**james** : ARE MY TASTYKAKES IN THERE  
  
**frances** : YE!!  
  
**james** : !!!  
  
**france eyes** : n O we have to eat dinner first  
  
**james** : but I gotta pregame dinner  
  
**france eyes** : ,,,,,fair  
  
**james** : w OO  
  
**james** : I FUCKING L O V E KOFFEE KAKE  
  
**frances** : YEAH I COULD TELL BY THE WAY YOU JUST ATE ONE WHOLE  
  
**james** : sL O RP  
  
**frances** : KHJSHJKDHKAJSDHAKSDH  
  
\---  
  
**anastasie** : THAT MOVIE IS NEVER N O T GOOD  
  
**anastasie** : wHY AM I SO TIRED  
  
**little lion** : you've been drinking the tea that makes you tired for like,,,,,half an hour  
  
**anastasie** : ngmngmgn someone carry me  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : I'll do it  
  
**pip pip doodly doo** : I'm headed that way anyway  
  
**anastasie** : ty  
  
**anastasie** : gn parents  
  
**little lion** : goodnight!!  
  
**laf** : night ana!!  
  
**laf** : and also philip and frances  
  
**johnn** : gn!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : !!  
  
\---  
  
**frances** : oh also tomorrow we're all going for frozen yogurt with my siblings and then my two new technical maybe future half siblings so  
  
**james** : IM SORRY  
  
**france eyes** : WHAT

**Author's Note:**

> haha ha h a
> 
> tumblr: lol-phan-af
> 
> also!! psa: "ot4 origins" and "details, details" are both 1-800 series' so !! y'all should read


End file.
